One of the most beautiful feelings in your existence is the feeling of falling in love. Love will make you believe in yourself and make you feel important. Love will give you wings and the freedom to fly. But what happens when those wings fall off in the middle of the sky? What happens when love ends? The answer is heartbreak. The breakup will shatter you into pieces and smash you to the ground. But as the saying goes, ‘Time heals’, you will reap all your broken pieces and put them back together.
We all have been through that road and know how it feels. If you’ve just have had a really bad breakup, here are the things to do in order to heal yourself and feel lively again.
1. Allow yourself to mourn
One of the common things to feel after a breakup is sadness and anger. Trying to overcome it by hiding how you truly feel will never allow you to fully recover from a breakup. You should rather vent all your anger and sadness to have no remorse at all left in you. Venting all your anger does not mean picking up a fight or abusing your ex, verbally or physically rather, go join a gym and do work out. A workout is an excellent way to vent your anger and release all sorts of tension.
There is a huge tendency of getting involved in drugs and alcohol at this point of time because of a wrong notion that it will subside the pain but you are totally wrong. It will only make healing process worse instead go join a social group for a social cause and do things that will bring happiness into others life. Smile is viral and a great healer. The mere thought of you bringing smile and difference in someone’s life will kill your sadness in you. Keep yourself busy with fun and entertainment and positive people around you. It will make a difference, a huge difference.
2. Don’t hate your ex
The other most common thing is that after the breakup either party, that is you or your ex feels being a victim and being played with. The blame game never ends, but do you think it is any productive. The answer downright is NO. Whatever happens, happens for good and irrespective who initiates breakup both of you had a part to play in it. May be you were missing those subtle signals that the relationship was not working anymore. You were just clinging on to a false hope of everything will work out. Either you didn’t meet the expectation or your personalities were way too different. Take it this way, it’s better that you go through a temporary pain than to wake up every day and fight over things that don’t even matter or in plain words stupid. Bottom-line is that the relationship took its own course as it was destined to. Have a positive feeling about the breakup and not only will it make you feel happy and a better person, but you will be able to “Forgive those who sin against thou”.
3. Write about your feelings
During the process you ought to be completely honest about your feelings. Write about how you feel in the forms of poems and journals. Bring out the creative side in you in better words. Or else, you can write letters to your ex about the questions you have in mind and about the conversation that has been haunting you throughout the nights but do not send it. Letting out all your feelings in the paper regularly will make you see the progress you’ve done with your breakup.
4. Keep a distance
Its human tendency to find comfort as soon as they are in pain. The way our brain works is that with times when we miss someone we always try to remember the good things that was there in a relationship but tend to either forget or ignore the negative part. When and if your ex contacts you, you should not immediately come to a conclusion that may be she wants you back. Even if it is true you should ensure that you are completely over the relationship to think with a sane whether if this is what you want. Your ex may offer you friendship, but don’t fall into that trap elsewise, you may end up being a backup. Imagine that you are buddies, but honestly, how would feel to see your ex hanging around with their new love. You don’t want to hear them talk about their daily activities and you don’t want to be a healer if they are fighting. That stuff looks good in movies and should be left for movies, only. There are lots of fish in the sea go find a new one. Don’t close your doors thinking there will be no one better like your ex who knows what’s next in store.
5. Don’t try to win them back
You may feel like your ex is your whole world and you are incomplete without her but that is not true. You will see endless articles suggesting no contact rules to win them back, but it is never wise to consider winning back your ex. It is just a waste of time and you may again end up getting hurt. In fact, no contact rules are, in a true sense, meant for you to get over the relationship and the hangover of it not to let your ex miss you. You should rather concentrate on creating new possibilities for a new relationship.
6. Maintain a low profile on social media
During the initial phase you may want to avenge by posting embarrassing photos of your ex on social media, writing angry status, tagging them on humiliating posts. It won’t do any good, but might trigger a war of words that you seriously want to avoid. You are better than that. The worst thing you can do it to have your ex still on your social media contact list. If you have, we highly recommend unfriend them and block them to erase the memories. You will always be tempted to look at their profile and the post of and about them will never let you overcome really. You don’t want to see how drunk they were on a Friday Night or how awesome their date went. Stalking your ex on social media is a big “No”.
7. Take care of yourself
Just because your relationship is over, you don’t want to be a subject of misery and sympathy. Words of how sorry your friends feel, etc. is good as it can be but won’t change a thing instead you should focus on grooming yourself for the next special one that really deserves a wonderful person like you are. Eating well, sleeping well and exercising is very important after a breakup. Treat and pamper yourself like you want others to do to you. A sound health and lifestyle can really go a long way in overcoming the phase. Follow a balanced sleep routine. Don’t go to bed too early or too late. Try to give yourself a good seven hours sleep. Mild exercise will have you feeling fresh and positive. Stay healthy!
8. Meet new people
The end of the relationship isn’t the end of the road, it’s just a start of a new journey, but you got to be open to explore new possibilities. The World is full of people with different charisma and personalities that it is for sure you will find a new one and a better one. Challenge yourself to make new friends and go out to have fun. Accepting invitations to casual dates, it will let you see the opportunity with other people and new prospective to life. Also, sometimes sharing your feelings with a stranger is easier than sharing it with a friend.
9. Read for inspiration
Just google on relationships and you will find endless forums and blogs on dealing with a breakup. There are many books, magazines and articles that tell you about how to deal with a heartbreak. It is healthy to read about relationships and breakups as a part of life. Reading will make you realize you’re not alone in the suffering of a failed relationship. Reading will broaden your knowledge about the situation, learn from tips of people who actually went through it and might even distract you from the heartbreak.
10. Stay with loved ones
When it comes to sharing emotions it really hard to trust everyone. This is the time when you will need someone near like your best friend and family members who can give you ears at this time. Spend time with your closest ones and share the pain you’re going through. Don’t isolate yourself and grieve all day. You will need some time for yourself but avoid staying alone for long. Craving presence of someone is normal. The care and affection of your friends and family will help you to heal quickly and comfort you during the process.
11. Take a break from your normal routine
Change things you do regularly and daily. Disrupt your daily routine. Try exploring your interests. Join gyms, dance classes, art clubs, or take guitar lessons. Focus on the positive things. Going out and discovering new interest, hobbies and doing things with your friends will freshen your mind and boost you up with positivity. If not all these, simple things like going on a walk all by yourself will help your body and mind to strengthen itself in a breakup.
12. Change your surroundings
If you have been in a living relationship, especially, it is always wise to change the whole interior arrangement of the house, shuffle everything and find a better arrangement or improve the interior. It is necessary to make you realize that you are someone capable of taking decisions and making the change. To change your surroundings, you can rearrange your decorations or even paint your room. Also, don’t keep belongings which will remind you of your ex. It is better to remove all the notes and clothes of your ex laying around your apartment.
Getting over a relationship cannot happen in a single day. Especially if you’re deeply in love with your ex, it might take months to heal. You have to give yourself the time and patience to cope with the breakup. A heartbreak needs time to heal. If you conceal your feeling, it might leave a big scar in your heart and make you lose all the trust in love and relationships. Don’t be harsh on yourself if you’re not being able to forget the relationship as fast as you would want to.
Remember to take the breakup as a learning experience that will better you as a person. Love yourself and the life you’ve been blessed with.